Breaking Away From 2014

MY biggest resolution for 2015 is to get the hell out of my hometown and eventually live independently within the upcoming year. I’ve seen people stuck here and I can’t be one of them. I cannot allow myself to believe that I will end up the same. I have taken the hands of Fate into my own for a while now and I need to continue pushing myself even further. Along with love from God, hard work, and support from my loved ones I’ve been able to live a privileged life of fulfilled dreams. Now that I’ve graduated, it’s my time to fulfill even more. I need to make the moves and go down the road not taken, the one that was destined for me. The one that terrifies me. I no longer have anyone above me telling me what to do with myself. There is no longer any limit to what I can do or decide upon. I no longer live under an institutionalized setting of pre-decided directions. I have complete freedom. With this freedom, I can either wait around and eventually shit on myself with the time wasted or I can start going after the life I deserve. It would kill my free spirit to remain under this house, dependent on my parents for money, dependent on the two hour long transit from here to the city.

In 2015 I’m looking to soar. excite. disturb. dazzle. delight. //
create. perform. transform.

I’ve always been afraid to go out and live in this world because my parents have always placed these restricting intangible limits on my character and painted a harsh and demented picture of the outer world. They have inspired fear and self doubt with little trust in my own gifts since I was a child and their effects still ripple within this moment. I have no desire to bash them in any way and am enormously grateful for what they’ve given me, but in 2015, I crave the freedom to be ME, to do ME, to work on ME without their interior voices constantly haunting me and making me doubt myself. This is the part where I break free on the inside and where I start working on changing my reality.

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Intro

My reason for creating this blog as I’m sure is the reason for many, is that I have a lot of stories to tell. I studied abroad in Jerusalem at the Hebrew University last year from January 2014 – August 2015. I miss my experiences every day, I talk about them every day, I read about the happenings, I speak with my friends, I simply think about it every day. As a writer, I figured having a blog would be the best platform for me to share my stories and thoughts. There are many things I have not shared with my loved ones that I will write about and post here. This blog will get political, it will get personal, it will be unfiltered, sometimes filtered, but always genuine. I will share my pure thoughts. I will question a lot of things. I will speak out. I will scream. I will relent, repent, forgive, remember, forget. Regret. This is my space and you are looking inside of it.

Since I returned home in August I’ve been posting a lot of news articles and writing little captions with my opinions on the events in Israel and Palestine. But rarely do I ever get to fully explain myself because they are Facebook posts, meant to be brief and to the point. Furthermore, this blog will not only explore the plagues and the light within those regions, it will also be a place of reflection for my entire study abroad experience, from start to finish. Additionally, since I am a writer, I also plan to post my creative works and general reflections on life on here as well. Some of them related to the conflict, most of them not. I live my life as a gigantic sponge, soaking up every piece of time, living my life within the bubbles of the moment. I like to talk about things. Personal, universal, gigantic things and small matters. Beyond the politics, the sex, the drama of life, I think it’s important to get to know one another. And through this blog, I aspire to show you who I am.

Breathing room for all my stories.