MY biggest resolution for 2015 is to get the hell out of my hometown and eventually live independently within the upcoming year. I’ve seen people stuck here and I can’t be one of them. I cannot allow myself to believe that I will end up the same. I have taken the hands of Fate into my own for a while now and I need to continue pushing myself even further. Along with love from God, hard work, and support from my loved ones I’ve been able to live a privileged life of fulfilled dreams. Now that I’ve graduated, it’s my time to fulfill even more. I need to make the moves and go down the road not taken, the one that was destined for me. The one that terrifies me. I no longer have anyone above me telling me what to do with myself. There is no longer any limit to what I can do or decide upon. I no longer live under an institutionalized setting of pre-decided directions. I have complete freedom. With this freedom, I can either wait around and eventually shit on myself with the time wasted or I can start going after the life I deserve. It would kill my free spirit to remain under this house, dependent on my parents for money, dependent on the two hour long transit from here to the city.
In 2015 I’m looking to soar. excite. disturb. dazzle. delight. //
create. perform. transform.
I’ve always been afraid to go out and live in this world because my parents have always placed these restricting intangible limits on my character and painted a harsh and demented picture of the outer world. They have inspired fear and self doubt with little trust in my own gifts since I was a child and their effects still ripple within this moment. I have no desire to bash them in any way and am enormously grateful for what they’ve given me, but in 2015, I crave the freedom to be ME, to do ME, to work on ME without their interior voices constantly haunting me and making me doubt myself. This is the part where I break free on the inside and where I start working on changing my reality.